i am cute

i really cute
done all this things for you 
just want to make you happy
feeling that still have someone
cares about you
but i know 
what i done, you never feel it
just like care about you, worried about you
even love about you, right?
today I finished my class at 5 p.m
i rushed from college
just wanted to cook for you
i scare you hungry and don't want you take away outside food
if not all the ingredients you buy for me just let it waste?
i scare you late to work place 
so i suggested want to take for you
yea~ you really said no need just now
sad + disappointed = bad mood 
never mind 
this story already passed
nothing to say 

I had cooked this in the afternoon><

ALONE

today i'm not suppose to be here
just because today is Friday
all my roommate back to their home
but no choice for me
tomorrow i need to work
so how?
just stay any where

I really feel so lonely
my friend>>>>ling wei and cheng ju also not at hostel
i really fuckin boring
Semester 2 is not easy
a lot of assignment>>>included co-cu
i have no time to waste
this few week 
i really feel like lazy worm
do nothing except play computer
i try to find a part-time job
thats why i so wasting my time

I suffer from stomach ache
and also my tooth is painful
I'm willing to take out the brace arr
so painful
can't even having a normal meal
starving + painful
nobody will know this feeling
only me!!

last Tuesday he fetched me go to Dr. Foo clinic
we'r waiting for the doctor about 3-4 hours
but the doctor just see me about 3-4minutes
what the hell la
always like this
even i came so early
after that we went to Zoo Taiping
this was the first time i visited to Zoo Taiping
haha~
and this also my first time went to Zoo with my boyfriend^^
sweet memories yar~~

my hope

this few days i realize that are a lot of pimples on my face
what a doomsday for me
this kind of matter really seldom happen on me
such a sad case
i think this maybe come from my lifestyle....lol
facing to the computer and hand phone every seconds,minutes,and hours
quite relax but its really boring,meaningless,wasting every seconds of my time
actually i should use my golden time to study right?
or i become more and more lazy,slothful and indolent?

i have to know that i cant blaming him
because this is my choice
i chose not to work at the place he do not likes
just simply wanted to let him feels better
he is working now while i m staying at hostel
i wish to see him everyday,it is really happy to see him
even one time also never mind,does matter
i like his smile,his eyes,his action,and everything related to him
his feeling,expression 
but the only one thing i do not like is quarrel with him
i keep quite is doesn't denote that i don't want to talk to him
every times we quarrel,my brain was nothing inside
all about the blank
my face was DARK enough 
my blood pressure was getting higher and higher
moody time...
such a sad case
he said that i didn't express all my feelings
but when i saw him my brain was all about him,happiness，exhilarating
he treat me well
and i also treasure it nicely ^^
sometimes we have a lot of topic to discuss
sometimes we snitch 
sometimes we complain about each other 
sometimes we say bad things about haters 
we share a lot
maybe....i think so

i hope that we can talk to each other nicely,smoothly
no more quarrel,if possible
control your hot temper well
tolerate with each other
that is!
really hope so

stress is coming soon

yea....semester 2 is started
which signify my stress is coming also
this semester i have 2 goals to achieve
firstly,to upgrade my broken english and convey my english message well
this is because our tutor says this semester we have to do
>>>>>>individual presentation which denote we have to present our written coursework
>>>>>>summary writing: summaries all the main point from a given comprehension 
>>>>>>group discussion: discuss a situation related to academic，we have to write a essay included intro,body,and conclusion,we also have to dress formally during our presentation day

i think this few coursework and assignment will kill me a lot==
because of my terrible english grammar and lack of vocabulary 
i should force myself to learn english vocabulary and grammar everyday right?

secondly,to maintain my CGPA
hopefully i can do my best to retain it
because i wish to get a outstanding result
therefore i can exempt from paying tuition fees^^
so excited!!!

but the way, all the assignment i have to do it well
manage my time well too^^   

school re-opened

今天是9月22号
明天就开始新的学期了囖
不懂是开心还是什么
这个学期完了就新年了囖
我最爱新年啦
因为有钱拿，又可以穿美美
最重要的是可以跟以前的高中同学见面
聚一聚~
可是开学了又好忙哦
一堆功课，presentation，还有coursework
加上这个学期打两份工
有点自虐的倾向
不过我这样做也是有原因的
除了新年希望赚到够钱买自己，弟弟和妈妈的新衣
还有存钱买自己梦寐以求的钱包
再来就是把自己银行钱翻倍
想到就很爽
不过我知道这不是件简单的事情
毕竟在第一个学期时自己经历过了一点
时间真的很紧

今天是最后一天假期嘛
索性就跟以前的同班同学出去
还有就是亲爱的janice回来了
这次回来是为了读医科
真的好羡慕哦
回想起来自己现在读的东西
还真的有点浪费==
不过衰在我怕血嘞又怕鬼嘞
不然早就跟janice读一样的
不过当然希望自己选择继续留在这里这个决定不会错
说到这里
刚才我们本来要去B.B.Q Plaza 的
可是班长的朋友说那边很贵又吃不饱
然后我们就去炫昇（xuan xin restaurant）吃囖
真的好幸福哦
这种感觉打从我来到这里就没回味过
我真的很想你们
你们永远是我的好姐妹
虽然我们吵过，冷战过
不过一切都过去了
我们依然是好朋友
吃完了我们就去看电影-judgement day
老实说我不懂他在做什么
没有point
不过这次的戏票钱是班长请的哦
赚到了啦^^
过后我们去straits quey

first time shopping at gurney together^^

因为他们要回家了
所以把我丢在那边投靠我的babe
然后驾我的车回家咯
刚才21:55才跟我报平安
真的放心多了
老实说我还真的怕他们“卖”掉我的车==
毕竟没有人驾过highway
刚才早上的时候给a moi test drive
结果过juru tol时把我的右边侧镜给刮花了==
banyak pandai
算了咯~当做我什么都不知道就好
大不了被mommy发现了就帮他拿去修囖
不过幸好班长的朋友常驾车到处去
所以这个任务就交给他咯
平安到家就好^^
我呢就跟babe去吃晚餐
好久没一起吃晚餐了吧
wedding dinner不算
然后就有一个星期出几天了吧
不过没关系
一起吃晚餐的机会应该很多很多吧

还有一个问题
关于热恋中的情侣
我承认我真的找不回那种感觉
不过我对你不是玩也不是testing
有些事情我很想做
像是偶尔拿电话出来拍照
不知道是我自卑还是什么
我觉得站在你旁边很丑
还是我对自己要求高
要扮美美才敢拍
想跟男朋友拍照是我这辈子最难做到的事情
是觉得自己严重性恐惧症
想又不敢真的no balls
我不奢望自己另一半会有多好
只要给我安全感
这不是每个人都想要的吗
我自己给不到，说真的很失败
几乎每个都这样
然后老实讲我很照顾自己的形象
很介意别人怎样看我
我最讨厌人家讲我是非
他妈的！我真的不能顶了
我不懂你干嘛酱啦
什么分了立马跟别的人在一起
diu 你！我也会生气的啊
关于我的东西不用你鸡婆啦
什么关心！什么狗屁啦！
干嘛不说你自己不够好
我要的是个回顾自己形象
不要邋邋遢遢
有钱没钱你家的事
我自己没钱也不会跟男人要到的
我自己会赚，自己养自己
我就算辛苦也不想靠男人
靠别人又要看脸色
我不喜欢
还有顾自己面子
你不要，我还要的嘞
到处跟人家讲我的事
传到我耳朵里我真的很不爽
不要以为我会message他来apply我要的东西
我就很爽
好心啦~我也不想的
我要的是反应快
别人能拖
不代表我能
拖到来，开学才能做
我也不想打两份工
我不知道辛苦咩
我只是想sem break时赚多点而已
哪里知道
人算不如天算嘞
算我衰啦这次
对了
原来我很会惹同一个人生气
爱做他不喜欢的事来气他
要的是管教我
又怕即使他管我了
我又受不了
应该不会啦
我觉得我很爱跟他唱反调
然后就悲剧收场
真丢脸
我不想的
全部都是我以为==
他以为==
然后就悲剧收场
我不喜欢吵架
我不喜欢我解释错
我面对你
只有一个字>>>>>>>笨！


school re-opened again
i hope all the bad things happened in sem one will go away frm my mind

story about a big aeroplane

基本上应该没有人会想要被骗吧
我本来就很讨厌人家放我飞机
结果还是被骗了

今天原本要跟我的一位室友
去gurney paragon找我妹妹的
因为这个妹妹不懂那根经不对
来到这里也没有跟家人报平安
奇怪的事连男朋友都没说
真的很奇怪
我妈吓到半死
叫我今天过去找他一下
叫他打电话回家
真不懂她男友回家后会怎样骂他
恐怕又要大吵一架了
恐怖分子>>>>两个都是==

哪里知道
在约好等巴士的前半小时
她才写来说“我要跟我哥哥去吃韩国餐啦，不能跟你去了”
== >>>>炸到
都要出门了
你才跟我讲这种话哦
整个人直接没有mood去
然后他就讲“应该不会很迟回来，回来了我们再去”
其实事前我很生气，信息语气有点凶==
我就说ok，我还告诉他我还没吃东西的
等去了paragon才去吃
因为这里根本没什么东西可以吃啊
结果我就真的傻傻的等
等到现在7：12了
还好我不笨
中午喝了点东西
不然早就死掉了

现在我真的不能等了
放弃去paragon料
饿死我了啊
本来就有胃病
这次看来凶多吉少
胃开始有点撑不下去了TT
隐隐感觉到gastric acid流出来
真的好痛啊

这里我真的很不爽
你去到酱迟
真的不能去了
写一封信息来啦
你知道我在等你吗
我还是饿着肚子那种勒
很辛苦你懂吗
打给你又不接
真是的.....
不是我要说你什么
你对朋友，自己，家人都是一样的
讲好了要做什么做什么的
结果都是last minute 来反悔
做人不可以一直没有信用
懂吗？！

feeling not well

真的感觉很糟
身体不舒服丫
家里又有状况了
英文考到好像shit
真的觉得不好受

今天一起身就发现自己很奇怪
然后开始打喷嚏
感冒了
现在更严重了
喉咙痛
要发烧了吧
全身好热好热啊

刚才妈咪打来
告诉我电话被偷了
现在联络不到爸爸
可是哥哥在外国需要用到很多钱丫
等爸爸寄来
可是我总觉得他不会寄来
身为一个男人
对自己家里根本不负责任
外面搞女人
表紧
但好心你行行好
每月准时寄钱回来好吗
这两个月我没做工
感觉好惨啊
有时间，没工作
又是开学才来做工
哇老......老天你是这样对我的啊

考试
英文考得不是很好
很失望
很丢脸
真的需要好好改进自己的英语程度了
在这样下去
真的会很惨

我真的希望有时候有人能帮我减轻负担

same

其实很多男生都是一样的
而我本身就遇到几个
嘴上说自己跟别人不一样
其实有一小部分简直就是一样吧
但不是所有男人都一样

是不是多数男生生气的时候都会
开车开很快
你们到底懂不懂
我们也是人
难道不会怕吗
做人可以理智一点吗
现在你不是一个人驾车
你是载着人懂吗
不要说你驾车技术有多好
如果有任何的万一
你们能承担这种后果吗

好心你们
不要老是只会批评别人
自己是不是要照照镜子
我懂我不是很会用脑
但请你们这些会用脑的
做事情也想想后果
你不要命
但是
我要！

sem break....

today was 29 August 2013
yesterday was my younger bro birthday
unfortunately i didnt came bck n celebrated birthday with him
but today i brought him n my sister went to pasar malam kampong valdor
in my way,i thought this action was already enough
because before that i never brought him went to any place for relaxing

jz nw i saw him
my-------ex
i also dun no why i ran away
but i can swear
i didnt done anything wrong to him
maybe can said like this
he was unfortunately to meet me this kind of bitch!
i said myself like this was because this can help me to lower my guilty
haha
i really stupid
stupid bcoz get into relationship with him
he said me played him
but i don't!
if u feel like tat
sorry! i hv nothing to talk to u!
i hv clarify for a few times before!
but the fact is u nvr trust my clarification!
damn u!

i was planned to travel alone this sem break
but too many things happened before
i jz go to THE PLACE to see how ppl playing piano...
i love the song vry much
THE WEDDING CEREMONY IN THE DREAM
so fantastic !
jz nw i asked my younger bro
do u wnt to learn piano?
he said NO,THANKS==
really disappointed
if i hv chance sure i will learn tat

i wanna k u!!!!

why?! why! why!

we must do tat thing for them

i really dun no today is wat f***ing bad day

doing group assignment also like tat

listen to other

ur opinion cant accept by u

do u think tat u r scholarship holder is considered as expert?!

tis is group assignment

is not ur own individual assignment!

pls try to accept others opinion too!!!

we all accept ur opnion n said nothing alrdy

pls dun go around n shoot ppl

hurting ppl u knw

think about others feeling before u shoot ppl ok?!!!

the other thing i really confuse is why we must pay bills tat previous user use one

is really unfair la!

shit! we r jz simple college students

we r not same as u

we r not rich like u

we r not !!!!!!!

why we must pay for them!

ur expenses alrdy many

so pls dun add another burden for us!!!!

fcuk u!

pls paid for them if u really wnt!

we wont!

mcb!

on diet T^T

i really need to on diet already

this is because somebody always keep shooting me

say me FAT! FAT! FAT!

really make me feel very sad

so now i must on diet

back as before>>>>thin

i don't want people criticize about my stature

because i will feel shy and guilty

now i already regret 

i do not control myself very well

consume all the mouth-watering food without control the amount of intake

consume all the high calories food without think about the consequences 

starting from now i will on diet

control the amount of food intake

consider carefully before consume the food

make sure the food i intake do not exceed the calories needed per day

prepare a menu to plan my daily meals

do regular exercise

although i have no time to exercise

but i will try to take the time to do exercise

the sad thing is i just can exercise on MONDAY

because that is the only day i am free ==

so i have no choice

 

i am not torture myself now

i just don't want other people keep saying me FAT!

really hurt me very much

my mother and my sister also keep saying the same thing

SAD!!!

i really don't know

why those people can just shooting me without consider my feeling...........

please do not scolding me when i am trying to do this

starting my college life^^

actually i really dun knw i will entered tarc uc to study
during tis period i think i bcm more independent n knw hw to manage my life
as i work as part-timer nw
i feel it is hard for me to spend my time for doing another thing
jz like fall in love v other
i really hope tat i hv 48 hour per day
so tat i can spend my time to do revision n so on
shortage of time really make me feel trouble every sec.....
i hv to learn to adjust my time for doing assignment and homework
haiz.....is no easy for me
before i choose college as my dream sch
i thought tat college life is vry simple
jz hand in homework for our lecture n tutor only
but i surprise tat i still need to do presentation==
however i must try my best to excel myself!!!
fighting sherlyn! believe u can do tat!
IN ORDER TO SUCCEED,YOUR DESIRE FOR SUCCESS SHOULD BE GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE..............

nw i live at G block 11floor unit10
the highest floor in tis flat
also the hottest room==
v my friends which is kai xin,syuen ni,jason kang,jun bing,n the noisy one>>>>>>>>venness ng
it is such a joy to stay togather v them
bcoz they all r vry friendly ppl
although,sometimes we do our own work separately
but i still can found tat stay together v them is better thn v other
the only thing i hate is the journey walk to sch
walao eh!!! really make me feel faint arr
15min walk frm my hostel under the hot sun
i think some more time i will bcm a Africa black girl alrdy-.-

yesterday was 2013520
i thought tat some ppl was kidding v me
actually he was the second one who confessed to me
i really getting shock
bcos i dun knw hw he bcm like tat
before tat i thought tat we jz a best friend tats all
i felt guilty to let him miss-understanding our relation
i knew he was sad last night
but i knw i cant handle tis kind of “thing”again
i hv not extra time for other
i knw tat i cant focus on my study anymore if i accept him
so i refuse his request
i dun wnt hurt anyone
i also scare ppl to hurt me TT
sry...to......u 
wat u said yesterday was right
at least tried first
but i really scare
these two days i almost cant focus on my study
feeling miserable 
always think about tat thing==
DIE.........GOD bless me-.-

打工日志

这两个月里
我的确成长了不少
学会看清了很多事情
包括>>>>人

在我眼里
好的朋友一直以来都是好的
坏的朋友就不用说了
可是我来到这里
一切都让我大开眼界
原来所谓的好朋友
是这样的
haiz.............

这两个月我几乎都是一个人
要不是上天公平
boss 都对我不错
我想我早就走了
真的感到抱歉丫
之前答应要做3个月
结果我做到2个月半就走了
还真的很对不起

讲些我在这两个月所发生的事情吧
4月7号到8号
我跟honey去了genting highlands
他说没去过我才牺牲自己陪她去
哈哈
结果花了我800++
TT
从此我就宣布破产了
haiz
那边的天气
现在已经不冷了咯
我们进鬼屋（浪费钱）
因为什么都没有
就只是同一个人在吓人而已
然后信不信由你
之前跟yisin去时
因为要关店了所以匆匆忙忙看了就走
这次跟honey去
在里面大概花了2小时吧
获益不浅呀
然后我们去了雪屋
刚装修好不久——很美
拍了很多照片留念
可是超贵的
花了RM125==
户外游戏嘞
我陪他把所有的过山车都玩完了
蛮刺激的
还有一个游戏the wave
在roller coaster的旁边那里
很好玩丫（之前一直无视那个游戏）
以为是小孩子玩的
结果自己都捉不稳
还有跳楼机==
越玩越刺激（笑）
臭honey让我重温那种感觉
极度恐怖啊
回之前原本要玩flying coaster的
结果下雨+故障==
不用玩TT
还有我发现一件事情
honey连坐单轨车也会怕
wakaka!!!!
奇怪的是玩刺激性游戏他bo rasa==
不过我还是很喜欢GH
虽然很闲，可是感觉总是不一样
在那边买了一双nike鞋
一见钟情的说
买了件长裤
第一次在那边看电影
看鬼戏看到睡去
不过也算不错了
3天2夜一下就过
真舍不得丫

回来了几天
除了做工还是做工
在penang的生活
过得很快
还是一样每天被joseph kacau
最近不懂是失恋过度还是怎样
每次摸我的头发
还说我头发颜色丑wor
真是的
恶心的是每天老婆前老婆后的叫我==
忘了介绍
店里来了3位来training的小厨
第一天看到他们以为难相处
结果认识了之后
全部都是傻傻的

还有最近有一个久违的朋友
突然在fb chat我
之前在读高中时
还记得我们信息过
他丢下了一句话给我
那次起我们就没信息了
他说我信息很>>>>>>>冷wor==
我也不懂得怎样去“热”信息
所以就没写了
这次他chat我
我真的大开眼界
用英文跟我信息了==
变得真多
他说wor
中学读的东西很闲
才不想读
才会读到后面班
现在他竟然读engineering
真的不能看外表来评定一个人咯

接近开学了
我选读tarcollege
选了banking n finance
真的好担心啊
毕竟之前没有动过这个course
怕我handle不来
总之加油吧
希望我们这些朋友能闯出自己的梦
FIGHTING!!!!

.........haiz....还是算了吧傻瓜

今天是3月9日
最近不懂怎么搞的
打从5号那天起我每天都很辛苦
心情很down
一个人的感觉不好受啊
现在除了blog我想就算说给人听也帮不到我吧
昨天跟jason kang聊天
聊到电话钱不见掉30块
虽然电话很多credit可是还是很心痛
毕竟是我慢慢累积下来的
不过也是值得啦
聊了好多事情
心情有好多了
可是今天我又来了
我觉得我真的快要死掉了
那天回来之后
我真的很难控制自己的情绪
连睡觉都不能
我真的很想>>>他
可是最近他好像都不理我了
打给他没接
信息更不用讲了
他的电话没进钱
我想就算进了也不会主动来找我吧
4天没见他
真的很想很想他
我做工，吃饭，睡觉，上fb都在想他
我真的觉得我快疯了
偶尔有用wechat聊
不过三两句就不见他回我了
好失望，好伤心
真的很怕很怕他觉得我烦
几乎每天晚上我都等他放工>>>>>330
想打给他
有时候还没打通就挂掉了
每次想回之前skype的时候
真的好开心
可是现在T^T
haiz.............
他在我心里永远都是好人
我们是最好最亲的朋友
我真的很喜欢他
可是我没有安全感
我只想跟他做好朋友
我对我自己说我对他的那份感情只是朋友的爱
还是回归现实吧
我需要的是一个用心爱我的人
我要的是长久的爱不是短暂的关怀
其实我前两段跟yisin还有khaiquan的感情
多半都是因为他而结束的
为什么又是因为他
yisin&khaiquan都不喜欢我跟他来往
可我觉得没什么啊
结果就变成现在这样>>>>单身
唉.........还是算了吧
是时候清醒了
要怪就怪2年前
如果当时跟我在一起的是他不是yisin不是楷智
或许就不会有今天的他
可是现在后悔有什么用
呵呵.....回魂吧你>>>>大笨蛋
你根本就改变不了他
只有他自己才会让自己回到原来的他
好好为自己的将来打算吧
就算我怎样想他
他也是不会懂的
还是算了吧........:P

04032013

打从我来penang做工到现在
我从来没想过
在这里会有那么多不同的事情让我遇到
在这里>>>>和他break up了
其实我早就预料到了
之前alan姐姐的事
让我怀疑那个男人有劈腿的意思
哪里知道
自己比谁都快
或许是我真的做不到他想要的那个人
分手后
我觉得我们还是做回朋友比较适合
现在很好啊
希望可以回到从前
像以前一样聊

在我还没来这里之前
很多人都反对我来
包括>>>>神==（妈妈问的）
起初听他们讲想说要放弃了
结果因为不懂怎样拒绝
就这样来到这里打工
新的环境，新的家
blooms restaurant
penang!!!!i love u
这里真是太美了

我们住在16楼10号房
在这里工作的朋友都是krian的学生==!!!
全部都像傻的
表面上看起来很认真
私底下都很好讲话
 今天offday
去了朋友的宿舍
只有一个字形容>>>>闷
读fb读到没东西读了
等那个死鬼回来==
超久的
还好有他的室友>>>>jason kang
在此郑重介绍下
肚子有一粒团圆饭
头发被雷公炸过
就是那么简单(哇咔咔)
然后我在他们宿舍
不懂要待到几点
刚才叫了外卖
家胜帮我叫的
因.....因.......为......为...........我不会叫
O(∩_∩)O哈哈~
A36   蛮好吃的
可是好像小了点
不过已经是我的size了

晚上要干嘛？==
谁来救救我
啊............啊......................

渐变

曾经何时我也会对女生有感觉
这    是我想都不会想的东西
我以为女生对女生只有友好关系那么简单
有时我真的搞不懂自己的性向
但我坚持 我真的是喜欢男的
这应该不会变吧
如果我真的喜欢女的就惨了
O(∩_∩)O哈哈~
喜欢我的人不就伤心死？
可是真的有人珍惜我吗

自我来到penang这个地方
我真的爱上这里了
每天晚上看着夜景
真的很美
可是不懂为什么
在这里真的很难入眠
听歌听到半夜也是一样
还好这里有free wifi
我才不会闷死

最近开始想起我那位久违的朋友了
我很想他
想起以前有他跟我skype
有他陪我走过那段最伤心地时候
他安慰我 那时对他有感觉
可是我不想我的生活没有他
没有他这个好朋友我真的活不下去
可是我觉得他很忙，很辛苦
用自己的健康来换金钱
根本不敢打扰他
我感觉他真的很累
想叫他不要这样对待自己
可是我真的说不出口
怕他嫌我烦
真的很怕
所以我才没有常找他
只要你能好好照顾自己
我就放心了